CS Weekly Archive > Weekend Read > 05/19/06

So Dull the Con of Man

By danny munso

The summer's most anticipated film, based on the best-selling water-cooler-phenomenon novel, arrives as a controversial but disappointing potboiler that sees a strangely coiffed academic threatened by a murderous conspiracy while unravelling a secret that could shake the foundations of Christianity. Luckily, no one in the audience will be awake long enough to be offended.

The Da Vinci Code

Akiva Goldsman
Based on the novel by Dan Brown

After he surfaces as a suspect in a murder in the Louvre, Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) and the victim's granddaughter Sophie Neveu (Audrey Tautou) begin to uncover a mystery through clues left behind by the victim and hidden in the works of Leonardo Da Vinci. With the help of Langdon's old colleague Sir Leigh Teabing (Ian McKellen), they discover a religious cover-up involving a secret society designed to protect the Church's deepest secret: that Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene and fathered her child. Langdon and Sophie must search for the truth of her grandfather's murder, but there are some who don't want them to survive.

Originally published in 2003, Dan Brown's religious thriller went on to become the highest selling book not featuring a boy wizard in recent memory, and the debates it has inspired have become larger than the book itself. The film adaptation has not sidestepped the buzz either, having been the subject of thousands of protests, and having even been banned in certain countries. Screenwriter Akiva Goldsman, teamed again with his A Beautiful Mind and Cinderella Man director Ron Howard, was charged with bringing the novel to the big screen. This would be a good time to mention that I have not yet read The Da Vinci Code, but judging by what I saw on screen and what I have been told about the text, those fans are not going to be happy.

It's not that The Da Vinci Code is slow and boring. It's that it's so extremely slow and boring most of the time that it completely sucks the fun out of a plot that Indiana Jones himself would be lucky to be thrown into. Unfortunately, Langdon is no Indiana. He's simply a teacher (not the kind girls would write on their eyelids for), and therein lies the heart of the film's problem: it tries to be more intelligent than it needs to be. I'm not sure I need the entire history of the Priory of Sion (the society charged with protecting the secret), just enough to whet my appetite before the next chase scene. While the great thrillers of our time know when to accelerate the action as well as calm down for a good character moment, Da Vinci seems permanently stuck in quiet mode, hell-bent on teaching us so much about history that they forgot to rev up the engine once in a while and get the audience out of their chairs.

It's hard to imagine this film, with the pedigree it contains, lets down the viewer as much as it does, but the reality is that it underwhelms at nearly every turn. Goldsman and Howard made such a great team before that the results here are downright shocking. A Beautiful Mind dragged in places, but it's a strong drama with strong storytelling, and Cinderella Man worked so well that it was almost inspiring. However, here the duo is so methodical about laying out the story in front of us that it is painful to watch and impossible to enjoy. Apparently, every character needs a flashback just to make sure that we as the audience don't miss the point they're trying to make. The flashbacks would be tolerable if they let us into the minds of any of the robots masquerading as people in the film, but they're mainly backstory that leads nowhere, save for the fact that killer monk Silas (Paul Bettany) had a rough childhood. Shocking, since he's a killer monk. The only character you end up having anything resembling an emotion for is Tautou's Sophie, and that's mainly because she's so gorgeous, you don't want her to leave the screen.

I'm not sure how faithful Goldsman was to the source material, but it seemed that with all the code-breaking going on and the whole "Jesus was married" thing, that this should have been one hell of a ride. Brown's plotline is far from perfect, but he gave Goldsman and Howard enough of a rough outline that they could have really made something out of this. Although astute viewers could probably guess some of the twists it has up its sleeve, a fast-paced, frenetic version of this story would have delivered the goods. Even though the central mystery certainly needs some set-up and explanation, it's up to the screenwriter to make sure that information is presented in an thrilling way, not dragging down the movie, and that is why the film ultimately fails. It's just disappointing because this movie could have worked and it could have worked really well.

Unfortunately, every choice made by the filmmakers sets up The Da Vinci Code to be a disappointment. As the film was letting out, a fellow patron behind me even muttered to her friend, "the special on the History Channel was better." I've never seen it, but she's probably right.

The Da Vinci Code

Sony Pictures
Rated PG-13; 149 min.

Buy tickets now

Buy the poster

Danny Munso graduated from film school in 2004 and can currently be found on his computer working on one of his many half-written screenplays. Or, more likely, he's on the Internet checking the scores of his beloved Bay Area sports teams.

The Da Vinci Code courtesy Sony Pictures

From the Trenches
Working screenwriters discuss in their own words a particular aspect of screenwriting, from the mechanics of writing to the personal and professional impact that writing has had on their lives. > VIEW ARCHIVE

The Art of Craft
Screenwriting experts discuss how to approach various aspects of writing and the writing life. A mini-seminar each week from the people who write the books and teach the classes. > VIEW ARCHIVE

The Big Picture

Features that cover all aspects of screenwriting, from our "Seven Best" lists to analysis of old favorites and new classics. > VIEW ARCHIVE

Expert Witness
A panel of experts assembled to provide the facts about the screenwriting business. Readers will be able have their questions answered by an agent, producer, entertainment attorney, and WGA representative—and without paying that 10% commission. > VIEW ARCHIVE

Son of a Pitch
A weekly tutorial on how to write a script. Each week deals with a different element of creating a script, with the ultimate goal to provide a step-by-step instruction manual for new writers. The guide for this is a writer just diving into screenwriting himself, who asks the pros questions any new screenwriter would have about this brave new world. > VIEW ARCHIVE

Weekend Read
Film, book, web site and technology reviews from a writer’s perspective. How can these items help a writer on his or her journey, or make that journey more enjoyable? > VIEW ARCHIVE

DVD Review of the Day
DVD reviews from a writer’s point of view. What aspects of this script and features of this DVD illuminate the writing, development, and storytelling process? > VIEW ARCHIVE