Pitching your feature film as Prison Break by way Of The Thing is a sure fire way to attract attention. It’s short, sharp, and creates a vision for an exciting movie. It provides a sliver of information about the genre and plot of the story. The logline reads, “Convicts at a maximum-security prison are forced to take matters into their own hands when they discover that a newly transferred inmate may be demonically possessed.” This adds details of the characters and plot without over-burdening the pitch. Screenwriters and the CS Unique Voices Screenplay Competition winners Teal Greyhavens, Nikolai Von Keller (pictured above) and Max Perry (pictured below) discuss their winning script Down With The Devil.
Describe the moment when you knew you had an idea for a movie?
MAX: Nick and I had been batting around ideas for a feature, trying to think of what would be something that would be new, interesting, but also producible. What was a set up that was naturally contained? We are all huge fans of The Thing and there you have an external force – the isolation and the weather – keeping all of the characters inside, but what if there was something closer to home that was doing that? What if you were trapped inside a prison with a monster? And so that notion – of addressing the thematic horrors of mass incarceration and a loss of liberty or autonomy – and channeling it through a sort of propulsive genre piece seemed both appealing and novel.
What were the different iterations of the story before deciding on the current version?
MAX: There were a few different iterations. At various points it felt a little bit more like Aliens, with characters battling throughout the prison. I think it got both a little larger and a little less focused. There was always a Prison Break element to the script, but as people read it they really responded to the fun and intensity of that, and so it became clear that the prison break had to be a main thrust. That realization, in conjunction with moving toward something we could actually get produced at a reasonable budget level, sort of naturally led to this current version. But the core of the film has remained the same since its inception.
What scripts did you read and movies watched to shape the project?
TEAL: Max already mentioned two of the big ones, Aliens and The Thing. Those are not movies we watched expressly for this script so much as they are just movies we’ve seen countless times growing up. We also looked at a lot of references when we were discussing the creature specifically – The Relic and Leviathan and this awesome short film from Oats Studios called Zygote, among others… When it comes to prison stories, we actually found ourselves quite taken with the gritty authenticity of Escape at Dannemora. Some of the directing choices Ben Stiller makes in that series are insanely cool. It’s a really good series.
What is your personal connection to the story and characters?
MAX: One of my parents actually worked in corrections as a case officer in a maximum-security women’s prison. So, I had spent time inside the prison and had met some of the prisoners, spoke to them and heard about both the things they’d done as well as their regrets and figurative demons. So, it is a subject matter that’s fairly close to home as well as being something that we don’t talk a lot about in our society. In the U.S. we have the highest incarceration rate of any country in the world and we never seem to address it. It felt important to not only create something that was a tense, bloody, good time, but that also humanized and grounded the main characters as much as possible despite the fact that they’re in prison.
Max Perry
How do you describe your writing voice?
NICK: As writers we strive to walk the line between expressive language and clear instruction. We tend to chafe at overly florid prose that bogs down the screenplay (and often seeks to supplant the director and actors’ agency). But, we also believe that a screenplay isn’t merely a blueprint – the act of reading the script should evoke the same emotional response as seeing it play out on screen. So, we try to write thriller / horror scenes that are tense on the page, action scenes that flow like action, etc. Beyond the prose itself, we’re drawn to characters that are never stupid and densely woven plots full of setups and pay-offs. If a character does something that would make us as audience members scoff, then she shouldn’t do it. If a plot thread can be removed without impacting the rest of the story, then it doesn’t belong.
You cite Prison Break and The Thing as the biggest influencers of your story. How did you stay close to that story and where were your major departures from them?
NICK: We love the claustrophobia of both, the inventive use of environment to create a contained thriller that isn’t simply a home invasion or cabin in the woods. We also always prefer hardscrabble characters who seem like they’ve lived real lives, often thrown together due to circumstances beyond their control. Where we diverged from those movies, of course, was the idea of bridging these two concepts – the prison break and the creature feature. Instead of a suburban family or gaggle of college kids facing a demon – why not a diverse group of hardened criminals, characters who might actually be dangerous themselves? And instead of a prison break being complicated by a new warden or gang rivalries, what if it was a supernatural monstrosity?
Describe your working relationship/ process.
TEAL: Well, we’re all very mean to each other. It’s an important early barrier to cross in a creative relationship, to be able to tell the other person when you think something isn’t strong enough. And this script went through a lot of drafts, just trimming and steamlining and getting down to the essence of what we wanted the story to be. Nicky and Max are both terrific writers, and the joy of collaboration is when you get to read a new draft after someone else’s pass, and you discover an incredible moment that you never would have been able to think of by yourself. (To be clear though, Down With The Devil doesn’t have any of those – all the good parts are mine).
What did you learn most about screenwriting?
NICK: Building off of Max’s initial story, we learned more about collaborative writing than we have in the past. And we learned how malleable a story can be – that is, if you’re willing to put in the effort. Early drafts of Down With The Devil had huge shifts in, not just structure, but in tone and scale. As a writer you have to be open to these changes, to defend what you think is best about a story, but also not to be so precious that you can’t see a better version of it.
Have you received notes or do you have any ideas for a subsequent draft?
TEAL: Down With The Devil has been read by our manager at Anonymous Content and our agent at UTA, who both love it and have thrown their support behind it. We’ve shared the script with a number of producers and companies and have actually come quite close to selling it, but haven’t found the right home yet. By which I mean, we haven’t found the right dashing, visionary producer who knows a sure bet when she sees one and wants to make a lot of money!
[More: Brett Johnson And Michael Tolkin Talk “Escape At Dannemora”]
