The are mild spoilers in this interview.
Amy Koppelman’s deeply-personal story about post-partum depression was first published as her novel called A Mouthful Of Air in 2003. Almost twenty years later, she adapted it for the screen starring Amanda Seyfried as Julie Davis and Finn Wittrock as her husband Ethan. The story requires a delicate touch to dramatize the story from the perspective of one woman without it ostensibly billing itself as a public service announcement or a message movie. The writer/ director spoke with Creative Screenwriting Magazine about getting her novel made into a film.
The novel was originally called Don’t Fall Apart On Me Tonight, based on the song by Bob Dylan. In the opening paragraphs of the book, Julie was “to any casual observer, pushing her baby stroller, taking a mouthful of air,” to conceal her inner tumult. Koppelman settled on the latter title because it better depicts life – one mouthful of air at a time.
Amy Koppelman
Post-partum depression is a mood disorder associated with childbirth and soon after. We asked the writer why this subject matter demanded to be given the big screen treatment. Amy doesn’t believe that anyone sets out to write a book about post-partum depression. However, doing so allowed her to ponder what her life would have been life if she didn’t get the help that she needed.
At the time, I thought I was writing a book about shame, whether it’s justified or not.
Koppelman’s personal experience with post-partum depression was characterized by “the idea that failure was inevitable and the overwhelming fear of something bad happening to your child if you look away for a second.” These overwhelming feelings of certain failure to protect her child lead to anxieties and she’ll eventually have to say goodbye to her child. Her experiences are also shared by many women in the world.
You’re not a good mom. You don’t deserve to be a mom. You can’t help but fail.
The almost twenty year gestation period between novel and film allowed Amy Koppelman to gain some more perspective on the topic. For starters, the film dropped the infanticide scenes found in the book. They were too brutal for the screen. “I wanted to talk about different things like the collateral damage that suicide causes in the family and the associated transgenerational trauma,” she said because she now had a greater understanding of these issues after almost two decades of dealing with them. Suicide is never a solution because you end up hurting the people around you even more.
Amy and Julie shared similar emotions, but their actual life events were different. Despite the dark nature of much of Koppelman’s writing which heavily skews toward maternal mental health, there is always a semblance of an upbeat ending following a devastating event. “There is always a chance for people to make different choices if they get the help they need and invest in a happier life.”
I got the happy ending that Julie Davis didn’t.
In Amy’s view, A Mouthful Of Air is more about trauma than post-partum depression in some regards. “It’s one woman’s story about a mother who sees all the beauty in the world, loves her husband, loves her children, but can’t get past this idea that the world is better off without her.”
The character of Julie Davis was delicately written so she was never portrayed as a heroine overcoming adversity or so pitiable that she was never going to get better so it wasn’t worth trying. Julie was neither good nor bad – just trying to take one day at a time. “I wrote her the way I felt her.”
The process of writing and rewriting was an elliptical one for Koppelman. “I’d write and write until I hit upon a scene that feels like what I’m trying to write to and what I’m trying to say.” She attributes this process to her powerful subconscious mind processing her novel over the years.
Julie was never a victim either. “I saw her as a woman with an illness [a mood disorder]. She wants to live. I didn’t want to portray post-partum depression as a dark and evil thing. Rather, I wanted to explore the fleeting nature of life.” Koppelman was particular in expressing she didn’t want the audience to project a moral to the story because ultimately it is a work of fiction.
Julie Davis (Amanda Seyfried) and Ethan Davis (Finn Wittrock)
Koppelman did not want to romanticize the issues of depression or suicide. “Julie is struggling to navigate her illness. Every decision [good or bad] she makes is through the lens of wanting to be a good mom.” Overcoming the feelings of anxiety and inadequacy is more important than defining them.
Many mothers set unreasonably strict rules of their own making on being a perfect parent. Koppelman concedes that parents cannot full control their child’s environment and keep them perfectly safe all the time. “You have to be there, love your child to be a good mom.”
A Mouthful Of Air is an interior novel which posed certain challenges for the writer during the externalization of the screenwriting process. The writer wrote out every scene in the book and studied them. “I looked for scenes that were emotionally similar or saying the same thing psychologically. Then I’d either pick one or conflate them into another scene which captured the idea and wrote the screenplay.”
Like all films, A Mouthful Of Air has several key, defining scenes that are integral to the narrative. Amy cites a scene when Julie finds out she’s having a baby girl. Julie’s response was, “What if she doesn’t like my hair?” Despite its comic appearance, the subtext of this response is Julie’s anxieties about not being able to protect her.
Another poignant moment in the film was when Julie’s daughter was watching Sesame Street in the living room while Julie was in another room harming herself. “Julie’s crying and conflicted in her sadness. By the end, she’s very peaceful because she really believes she’s doing the right thing.” Amy believes mothers need to be more forgiving of themselves and each other. Julie is a kind and loving person in search of happiness.
Amy Koppelman also pointed out that there is no blood in A Mouthful Of Air. “There are no scars. They are all surface wounds.” The writer didn’t want the audience to become distracted by the sight of blood.
Depression is an illness like asthma or diabetes that can be treated.
Koppelman advises writers to express themselves from a place of honesty without thinking what other’s think. Your work will eventually connect with somebody when the writer conveys what the reader is feeling whether they realize it or not.
“I don’t have to worry about being polite. Once you make that connection, you feel less lonely.“
